Undeniably Know

I undeniably know that I can finish a half marathon. This knowledge and confidence came at about 6:15 am last Friday as I jumped in the shower to clean up after a beautiful 12 mile nonstop run. I didn't bask in the knowledge, it wasn't a big revelation, instead I just smiled and sighed.
What a relief, but that's what training is for.

In the beginning I fought against the training regime, not necessarily on purpose, but I tried challenging myself further than instructed. Run faster, run harder, run more. About 4 weeks of that burned me out and I dug deep within to slow down, run easier and run the prescribed amount. I told myself that I had to trust the professionals, the people who do these things as a hobby and trust that I would be where I needed to be mentally, physically and emotionally for such a challenge.

I got up on the treadmill, started with a warm up mile at a slower speed and panicked. Running on a treadmill is boring and I hate it, not only was I attempting this at 4 am I was on a treadmill and I realized I forgot to turn on the tv. It was just me, the machine and my iPod for the next two hours. I breathed, relaxed and interestingly enough I loved every minute of my run. I don't remember those two hours at all, what I thought about, what I was looking at, or how I entertained myself. I just remember feeling the runner's high as each half mile ticked by.

I knew at mile 11 I had it in me to do 13.1 miles that morning and that's when I just knew. I can do this, I am in that "zone". To tell you the truth, I don't need to run in a couple weeks in San Antonio to prove it to myself or anyone else. I know how I felt, I know my condition and I know I can do it. There is nothing sweeter than knowing I have arrived. I crossed my finish line and if I never run again, I would be okay with that.