Oy! I started getting nerves about this race last week. This morning however, fear set in and at about 8:30 a.m. I was almost paralyzed. I quickly dressed, got out the door and moved on to running errands in order to keep myself busy.
I got to the office way earlier than need be only to find our water cooler was leaking water all over our carpet. "Good,"I thought," something to keep me busy." Now, here I sit, twindling my thumbs, surfing the same sites between phone calls, emails and my usual day's work. Trying so hard to not think about it.
Why am I scared? I know I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Part of me is scared of the unfamiliar hilly course, I am expecting my legs to be completely trashed. Valentine's Day activities that day will most likely be out because I'll be laid up in bed unable to move. This is what I am preparing for at aleast. Hoping for better.
I actually think I am more scared about what comes afterward. Everything changes. No more pressure of the training. No more hard training unless I want to- and even then at least a week following will be no working out altogether.
It's the same anxiety I had when I hit my weight goal. The uncertainty of what to do next. How much was enough or too much and how often? My diet will need to revert to weight loss diet, just more food obviously. And while at this point I have to admit I am tired of eating- I never thought I would ever feel that way- I am not looking forward to all the rules again.
I'm scared. Plain and simple of what the future holds, perhaps more than running 26.2 miles straight.
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