Pace Yourself

The first six weeks of training were glorious. I felt eager, anxious, accomplished, educated and proud. It's a learning process much like everything else. Any sport I ever played demanded quick sprints, not endurance running. The goal was to always finish hard and finish fast, not conserve your energy and pace yourself.

Pace yourself.

Hmm, ever really stopped to think about that first word? Pace. Despite 8 weeks of experience in training thus far I still haven't really understood that word or that phrase,"pace yourself."

The goal in marathon training is to run slow, or at least it is for beginners whose only goal is just to finish. Alive. Most training schedules call for 4 run days a week. An easy day, a tempo day, a speed day and a long slow day (LSD). Easy is self explanatory I think (you should be able to have a conversation while you run, tempo is running a majority of your miles for that day at a pace that is challenging but doable (you should want to quit but be able to keep going), speed day or other (like incline) consists of Fartleks (most people call them intervals) shorter distances at higher speeds like sprinting or practicing hill running, and long slow days that consist of running longer distances at a much slower pace.

How hard is that? Hard or at least for an intense personality like me. It's not easy to lay back and jog, my muscles want to work harder, my watch tells me I want to finish earlier, my mind doesn't understand "slow down."

I began this post by talking about the first six weeks being enjoyable though I am eight weeks in because the last two weeks I have been struggling. In my head I have quit like ten times, I am not finding my runs very fun, I am not sleeping because I am anxious about having enough time to get my work out in and finish all the other things going on in my life and I am stressed out.

Running was at first my place to be quiet, sort all of these things out, listen to the rhythmic breathing in my lungs and the thudding of my heart. It soothed me, it calmed me, it gave me joy.

Last week that all changed. I can't put my finger on what exactly changed it but it changed. What I do know is that my entire life right now isn't following the rule of "pace yourself." I am too busy looking for an answer, too busy trying to find a solution, too stressed to want to lay back and just let the training take me where I need to go.

It's just a 5k next weekend, then I have six weeks before the half marathon I plan to run the weekend of my birthday, and then 8 weeks before the big one. I should trust the training, I should trust there are enough hours in the day to run, I should just take one breath at a time and put one foot in front of the other.

How do you pace yourself? I'd really like to know in earnest because right now I am at such a crossroads that it feels like it should be all or nothing.