Humble Pie

I feel like I've already titled a post with this headline but here I am again. Wondering at the little niggling feeling I have in the pit of my stomach is a knee jerk reaction to a terrible run or the truth that is finally surfacing.

Last week's runs at home on the paved road weren't terrible. They weren't fantastic either. There is definitely some difference in where and on what you run. A treadmill in a room is much easier than asphalt in the wind going uphill. I knew this but what I didn't expect was a wind storm that made me look as though I were walking with concrete blocks on my feet. My quads haven't felt that sore in a very long time.

I made it home yesterday in time to run my long run on the treadmill though. About 8 miles in and I was a goner. I got sidestiches from H.E. double hockey sticks and just couldn't get it back on. Between running, jogging, walking and crying I managed to finish it about 20 minutes over my goal with Lyndsey walking next to me almost the entire time. God bless her!

So, now I am back to square one, wondering is this all a mistake. What could I have done differently? Well the same thing I should have done differently a few weeks ago...not eaten a huge meal a couple hours before I ran...duh!!

Maybe I'll learn.

It was humiliating. It was humbling. Let's see if I can recover.

Merry Christmas

This will likely be my last post until after Christmas. So let me take a moment to wish all of you out there in cyberland a very Merry Christmas. While I am excited for the holidays and the vacation I have been saving my days for all year round, I am also aprehensive. Holidays equal chaos. All the excitement also means, cooking, cleaning, mending and refereeing.

Now, combine that also with trying to stay motivated to train and then running the long runs when you want to be inside with your family gathered around hot pancakes instead of snotting all over yourself in the chilly air.

Running at home means running up and down the almost mile stretched road that my folks live off of. Parading myself in front of house after house with dogs that scare me while trying to appear dignified as the sweat pours down your arms, legs and back. If it's cold, you snot and that's even worse.

I am thankful that where they live now is not my hometown and I don't know many people and none of the neighbors well enough to be too embarrassed but I still have to say I am anxious. Hopefully the eggnog will kick in and I'll be so relaxed that a 14 mile run will seem like a welcomed break.

Despite my worries I wish you a very Merry Christmas, a Happy and safe New Year. I'll see you on the flip side.

And the beat goes on...

And the beat goes on...

My 12 miler became a half marathon yesterday. I felt good enough, had a good enough pace to go ahead and do 13.1 miles. That makes it the second time in less than a month that I've run a half marathon. That would astound me if I wasn't already looking forward and realizing for the next like 8 weeks it will be mileage over a half marathon. Sigh...

The run was good, I had some movies to keep me distracted and mentally I broke it down into 4 5K's which made it easier to tackle. It's weird running by myself for so long and no one else was at the gym so if you can't concentrate on something else it seems to take forever.

Time wise I was on target but seriously, at this point I am just trying to survive. I moved my next LSD to Saturday- my 14 miler. So I could get it out of the way, get a nap in before a wedding I have to attend Saturday night allowing me to get up Sunday and get on the road for my Christmas break.

Perhaps the best part of this is that the training will make for a fun holiday break since the food is not forbidden. Seriously, how did I manage not one cookie or cake or candy last Christmas??! Ack.

Rockin' the Fauxhawk

For me it's a time for changes. I always joke about being borderline OCD but I am not sure if that's really true because every quarter (of the year) or so I need to change something up. Decoration in the house, my office, a new style of clothing, new hobby or in this case a new haircut.

Needing a haircut desparately, I convinced my housemate she needed one, too. While we went to the salon for her, I ended up walking out with my hair cut into a fauxhawk. What does this have to do with marathon training? Nothing and everything.

Ever since the half marathon my momentum , excitement and motivation have been lacking incredibly. I took my two week breather and am 1 1/2 weeks back into training. My 11 miler on Saturday was horrid and I almost vowed then and there to quit for good.

My health is great according to the doctor and she's pleased with my weight despite my higher ingestion of carbs these days- as long as I am still running.

I got up this morning undecided on when I would run my 6 miler, this morning or tonight. I hate that...I hate running at night because all day I it lurks. But lately I have been sleeping in, not waking up on my own at 4 or 5 am wanting to run. So I have been letting myself sleep. I ran this morning, later than usual but in plenty of time.

I just can't get that hardcore into it again. I'm struggling. Inside myself. The food is so good but it goes bye bye if I quit. I am not fixed. Right now, I'm stressed about anything you can list I got it. I'm struggling with my lack of motivation.

I put on my "Gonna Run 2.14.09" Austin Marathon shirt this morning and ran in it hoping that seeing it in the mirror would give me a boost and it did and my run was great. But I needed something more, a bigger change.

So, off went the hair- again, since I've been keeping it short for the last 10 years. But this time I let the stylist decide. I actually asked, told, instructed. Edgy, updated, new, different, please?

For the first time in years I actually wore a decent shirt to work, put on some makeup and fixed my hair. This weight loss and training have given me that, confidence. I bundled up and strutted down the hall. Looking probably a little silly to others, out of place to some, but to myself...I felt good. Renewed and I hope this feeling sticks as I take on my 12 miler on Sunday.

False Start

After a false re-start of my marathon training last week, quite by accident I must say, I resumed my real training on Monday. My folks came up and spent a few days with me over Thanksgiving which created the pressure to exercise more than I had intended. Consequentially I lost two pounds while pigging out on gingerbread, oatmeal toffee cookies, and chocolate. Sigh, what a hard life.

But seriously, the strict scheduled exercise resumed on Monday and while last week's crazy exercise regime made it a fairly easy transition I must say psychologically I am not ready. The next two months will be super intense and I am shying from that strict regime. Early, early mornings are not my favorite things. I like to sleep in and sleep a lot. Every LSD run will be equivalent to the half marathon I just ran or more. It took me 3 days to want to run after that race, this time I don't have that kind of recovery time before I am scheduled to run again.

It seems daunting at this point and I am trying to avoid it, but I want to attempt Austin. I want to run a long race again. I want this for myself at this point, no one else. Everyone else would understand. My doctor just gave me a clean bill of health all I need to do is maintain.

Last night's Biggest Loser episode helped a little since it was the marathon week and it helped me remember the fun of the half marathon. It's the mornings I dread.

So here I go...for better or for worse, here I go.